How to Build a Food Processor That Slices and Dices in a Thousandth of a Second

Impressed by late-night infomercial ads for blenders that can hack and slash through ice, nuts, and rocks? They might as well be primitive neanderthal tools compared to NightHawkInLight's latest creation, which can turn potatoes into slivers and cabbage into coleslaw in the blink of an eye.